{"id":13440,"date":"2026-05-07T16:03:23","date_gmt":"2026-05-07T16:03:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mailgun.com\/blog\/ce-que-les-mamans-peuvent-nous-apprendre-a-propos-de-l-email-marketing\/"},"modified":"2026-05-08T03:31:55","modified_gmt":"2026-05-08T03:31:55","slug":"ce-que-les-mamans-peuvent-nous-apprendre-a-propos-de-l-email-marketing","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/www.mailgun.com\/fr\/blog\/email\/ce-que-les-mamans-peuvent-nous-apprendre-a-propos-de-l-email-marketing\/","title":{"rendered":"Ce que les mamans peuvent nous apprendre \u00e0 propos de l&#8217;email marketing"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Every May, a certain type of email shows up in inboxes alongside the gift guides and discount codes: the empathy email. The one that <em>gently<\/em> offers to let you opt out of Mother&rsquo;s Day content, just in case. It&rsquo;s well-intentioned. It&rsquo;s also kind of a mess, and it says more about how we think about email marketing than it does about how we think about people.<\/p>\n\r\n    <nav data-content-type=\"longform\" class=\"toc-block longform-spacings px-5 py-6 px-md-6 px-lg-7 py-md-7 bg-light fs-sm rounded-lg\" aria-labelledby=\"toc-title-5167\"><p class=\"h5 m-0\" id=\"toc-title-5167\">Table of contents<\/p><div class=\"d-flex mt-3\"><div class=\"w-auto fw-bold text-accent d-flex me-2\">01<\/div><div class=\"d-flex flex-column\"><a class=\"fw-bold scrollme link-body-color text-accent\" href=\"#if-youre-doing-empathetic-marketing-have-you-tried-the-empathy-part\">If you&rsquo;re doing \u00ab\u00a0empathetic marketing,\u00a0\u00bb have you tried the empathy part?\u00a0<\/a><\/div><\/div><div class=\"d-flex mt-3\"><div class=\"w-auto fw-bold text-accent d-flex me-2\">02<\/div><div class=\"d-flex flex-column\"><a class=\"fw-bold scrollme link-body-color text-accent\" href=\"#the-promise-of-empathetic-marketing\">The promise of \u00ab\u00a0empathetic marketing\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0<\/a><\/div><\/div><div class=\"d-flex mt-3\"><div class=\"w-auto fw-bold text-accent d-flex me-2\">03<\/div><div class=\"d-flex flex-column\"><a class=\"fw-bold scrollme link-body-color text-accent\" href=\"#youre-not-removing-harm-youre-relocating-it\">You&rsquo;re\u00a0not removing harm\u00a0you&rsquo;re\u00a0relocating it.\u00a0<\/a><\/div><\/div><div class=\"d-flex mt-3\"><div class=\"w-auto fw-bold text-accent d-flex me-2\">04<\/div><div class=\"d-flex flex-column\"><a class=\"fw-bold scrollme link-body-color text-accent\" href=\"#preferences-arent-evergreen-and-youre-going-to-keep-asking\">Preferences aren&rsquo;t evergreen (and you&rsquo;re going to keep asking)\u00a0<\/a><a class=\"scrollme link-body-color\" href=\"#meanwhile-what-are-we-actually-optimizing-for\">Meanwhile, what are we actually optimizing for?\u00a0<\/a><\/div><\/div><div class=\"d-flex mt-3\"><div class=\"w-auto fw-bold text-accent d-flex me-2\">05<\/div><div class=\"d-flex flex-column\"><a class=\"fw-bold scrollme link-body-color text-accent\" href=\"#opt-outs-are-a-patch-not-a-solution\">Opt-outs are a patch,\u00a0not\u00a0a solution\u00a0<\/a><\/div><\/div><div class=\"d-flex mt-3\"><div class=\"w-auto fw-bold text-accent d-flex me-2\">06<\/div><div class=\"d-flex flex-column\"><a class=\"fw-bold scrollme link-body-color text-accent\" href=\"#a-simpler-fix-nobody-wants-to-admit\">A simpler fix nobody wants to admit\u00a0<\/a><\/div><\/div><div class=\"d-flex mt-3\"><div class=\"w-auto fw-bold text-accent d-flex me-2\">07<\/div><div class=\"d-flex flex-column\"><a class=\"fw-bold scrollme link-body-color text-accent\" href=\"#okay-but-what-should-you-actually-do\">Okay but what should you actually do\u00a0<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/nav>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">If you&rsquo;re doing \u00ab\u00a0empathetic marketing,\u00a0\u00bb have you tried the empathy part?\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n<p>My mom hates those \u00ab\u00a0opt out of Mother&rsquo;s Day emails\u00a0\u00bb messages.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Not because\u00a0she&rsquo;s\u00a0grieving.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Not because she had a great relationship with her mom either, actually.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>She hates them because they feel\u2026weird.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Before her mom died, their relationship was painful and complicated. A generic \u00ab\u00a0flowers for Mother&rsquo;s Day\u00a0\u00bb email? Fine. Easy to ignore.\u00a0Maybe even\u00a0nice\u2014she&rsquo;s\u00a0a mom herself, after all. Could mean something completely different depending on the day.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>But the opt-out email?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>That one lands like:\u00a0<em>\u00ab\u00a0Hey\u2026 quick question\u2026 are you sad about your mom?\u00a0\u00bb<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>And suddenly, instead of just scrolling past a promo,\u00a0she&rsquo;s\u00a0being asked to define herself in relation to it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Which got me thinking: what exactly are we calling empathy here? And why does it feel more like a marketing strategy than genuine concern?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The promise of \u00ab\u00a0empathetic marketing\u00a0\u00bb<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n<p>There&rsquo;s\u00a0a growing trend in email marketing to let subscribers opt out of \u00ab\u00a0sensitive\u00a0\u00bb campaigns; Mother&rsquo;s Day, Father&rsquo;s Day, Valentine&rsquo;s Day, and increasingly, any holiday with even a whiff of complicated feelings attached.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>The idea is simple: give people control, respect their preferences, avoid causing harm. On paper, it sounds thoughtful. Even kind.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>And to be clear, I\u00a0get\u00a0the idea! But\u00a0the execution\u00a0is where things start to fall apart.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p><strong>You Don&rsquo;t Actually Know Who You&rsquo;re Talking To<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Mother&rsquo;s Day\u00a0isn&rsquo;t\u00a0a segment.\u00a0It&rsquo;s\u00a0a context, and a messy one at that.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Your subscriber could be a mom, someone with a mom, someone who lost a mom, someone estranged from their mom, someone who just went through a miscarriage, someone buying for a partner who&rsquo;s a mom, or someone who would very much like to not be perceived in relation to motherhood at all, thanks.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>And\u00a0that&rsquo;s\u00a0just the\u00a0categories.\u00a0Within each one: complicated feelings, complicated history, a relationship with this particular holiday that you have absolutely no visibility into.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>The entire opt-out strategy assumes\u00a0there&rsquo;s\u00a0a group of\u00a0people\u00a0this campaign will hurt\u2014and that they know who they are, and that they want to tell you.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Do you actually know who that is?\u00a0Or are you asking your customers to do the emotional triage so you\u00a0don\u2019t\u00a0have to?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>You&rsquo;re\u00a0not removing harm\u00a0you&rsquo;re\u00a0relocating it.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n<p>Here&rsquo;s the crux of the problem: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mailgun.com\/blog\/email\/understanding-unsubscribes\/\">The goal of these opt-outs<\/a> is to avoid causing pain. But in practice, they often do something else: they move the emotional weight from the campaign into the opt-out itself.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Instead of:\u00a0<em>\u00ab\u00a0Here&rsquo;s a Mother&rsquo;s Day promotion\u00a0\u00bb<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>You&rsquo;re\u00a0sending:\u00a0<em>\u00ab\u00a0Do you want to opt out of Mother&rsquo;s Day emails?\u00a0\u00bb<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Which requires the recipient to stop and think:\u00a0<em>Does this apply to me? Should this bother me? Am I the kind of person who needs this?<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>That&rsquo;s\u00a0not neutral.\u00a0That&rsquo;s\u00a0an emotional\u00a0prompt. In some cases,\u00a0it&rsquo;s\u00a0more direct\u2014and more uncomfortable\u2014than the campaign you were trying to soften.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Empathy\u00a0isn&rsquo;t\u00a0asking people to raise their\u00a0hand\u00a0and\u00a0say\u00a0<em>\u00ab\u00a0this hurts me.\u00a0\u00bb<\/em>\u00a0Because some things\u00a0aren&rsquo;t\u00a0neutral questions. \u00ab\u00a0Do you want to opt out of Mother&rsquo;s Day emails?\u00a0\u00bb isn&rsquo;t the same as \u00ab\u00a0Do you prefer weekly or monthly newsletters?\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0It&rsquo;s\u00a0closer to:\u00a0<em>\u00ab\u00a0Hey, just checking\u2014are you dealing with something painful we should know about?\u00a0\u00bb<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>And not everyone wants to answer that. Not because\u00a0they&rsquo;re\u00a0hiding anything\u2014but because\u00a0it&rsquo;s\u00a0not something they want to engage with at all, especially in their inbox.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Preferences aren&rsquo;t evergreen (and you&rsquo;re going to keep asking)<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n<p>Grief, relationships, and identity are not stable preferences. These are preferences that change throughout someone&rsquo;s life.<\/p>\n\n<p>Someone who opted out last year because they miscarried might be celebrating this year with a newborn. Someone who was fine last year might have lost their mom in January. The person who opted out because of a painful relationship might have reconciled\u2014or might have lost their mom before they got the chance to.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Which means your \u00ab\u00a0empathetic\u00a0\u00bb system eventually becomes:\u00a0<em>\u00ab\u00a0Hey\u2026 still want to opt out of this?\u00a0\u00bb<\/em>\u00a0Every year. Until they\u00a0don&rsquo;t.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Because\u00a0nobody wants to say\u00a0out loud: everyone&rsquo;s mom eventually dies. You are going to keep sending this email, year after year, until one year your customer is genuinely, newly sad. And your little preference flag\u00a0won&rsquo;t\u00a0know. And neither will you.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>That&rsquo;s\u00a0not what we mean by \u201cgood data hygiene\u201d.\u00a0It\u2019s\u00a0more\u00a0\u201caccidental yearly emotional audit that your customers definitely did not sign up for when they gave you an email address for occasional coupons\u201d.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Meanwhile, what are we actually optimizing for?<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h3>\n\n<p>These opt-outs are usually justified with retention, churn prevention, and protecting high-value customers. All valid business goals!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>But if your empathy strategy is primarily designed to protect your metrics, people can feel that. Because empathy that exists as a performance tactic is\u00a0basically risk\u00a0management with better copy and a floral motif. Cute, but not exactly compassionate.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Opt-outs are a patch,\u00a0not\u00a0a solution<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n<p>The reason these opt-outs exist in the first place is because of how we send email: broad campaigns, loose targeting, heavy reliance on the calendar.\u00a0So\u00a0when something goes wrong, we add a layer. An escape hatch. A little \u00ab\u00a0you can opt out of this\u00a0\u00bb to absolve ourselves.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>But it\u00a0doesn&rsquo;t\u00a0fix the underlying issue.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Also worth noting: Mother&rsquo;s Day is just the most visible version of this problem. Valentine&rsquo;s Day hits differently if\u00a0you&rsquo;re\u00a0newly divorced, newly widowed, or just newly single in a way you\u00a0didn&rsquo;t\u00a0choose. Father&rsquo;s Day is its own minefield. Christmas, Hanukkah, and Thanksgiving all carry enough family and grief baggage to fill a therapist&rsquo;s waiting room. If\u00a0you&rsquo;re\u00a0building an opt-out infrastructure for every emotionally complicated holiday to perform empathy for your audience,\u00a0you&rsquo;re\u00a0actually just\u00a0building a very elaborate feelings database that will still be wrong half the time.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>A simpler fix nobody wants to admit<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n<p>If you\u00a0don&rsquo;t\u00a0know enough about your audience to confidently send a highly specific, emotionally loaded campaign, maybe don&rsquo;t\u00a0send it that way.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Not everything needs to be a \u00ab\u00a0Mother&rsquo;s Day Gift Guide\u00a0<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"17\" height=\"17\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mailgun.com\/31aedc81-24ec-4a8e-aeeb-dd8a0f82f004\" alt=\"&#x1F490;\" \/>.\u00a0\u00bb It could be a May promotion. Seasonal new arrivals. A sale that happens to fall in spring. Let the customer decide what it means. The mom shops for herself. The kid shops for their mom. The grieving person scrolls past. The estranged person\u00a0doesn&rsquo;t\u00a0have to engage with the framing at all.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>No opt-out\u00a0required. Because\u2014here&rsquo;s\u00a0a secret\u2014if someone is shopping in May, they know why. You\u00a0don&rsquo;t\u00a0have to tell them\u00a0it&rsquo;s\u00a0Mother&rsquo;s Day. They have a calendar.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Whatever you sell, you can\u00a0probably just\u00a0run a sale and let your\u00a0customer\u00a0decide what it means! Relevance\u00a0doesn&rsquo;t\u00a0require you to define your customers\u2019 relationships\u00a0for\u00a0them.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Okay but what should you actually do<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n<p>Fine. Actionable advice. Here it is:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Know your\u00a0customer\u00a0better.<\/strong>\u00a0Not just what they click, but how they behave, what they buy, when they engage.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mailgun.com\/blog\/deliverability\/deliverability-customer-experience\/\">Use what you actually know before you assume what they feel.\u00a0<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Send\u00a0more carefully.<\/strong>\u00a0Not everything needs to go to everyone. And not everything needs to be explicitly framed around a holiday.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mailgun.com\/blog\/email\/email-list-segmentation\/\">Intentional segmentation goes a long way.<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Ask yourself if you actually need a holiday angle.<\/strong>\u00a0If the answer is \u00ab\u00a0we always do Mother&rsquo;s Day,\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0that&rsquo;s\u00a0just a calendar reminder\u00a0you\u2019ve\u00a0been calling \u00ab\u00a0strategy\u00a0\u00bb.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>If you are going to do opt-outs, do them thoughtfully.<\/strong>\u00a0Broad, low-stakes preference options (\u00ab\u00a0opt out of holiday content\u00a0\u00bb) are better than prompting someone to reflect on whether their mom is still corporeal.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Don&rsquo;t\u00a0perform empathy you\u00a0haven&rsquo;t\u00a0earned.<\/strong>\u00a0Customers can tell the difference between thoughtful and theatrical.\u00a0If you&rsquo;re not willing to actually know your audience, a well-copywritten opt-out email isn&rsquo;t going to fool anyone.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<p><strong>Know your\u00a0customer\u00a0better.<\/strong>\u00a0Not just what they click\u2014how they behave, what they buy, when they engage.\u00a0Use what you actually know before you assume what they feel.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p><strong>Send\u00a0more carefully.<\/strong>\u00a0Not everything needs to go to everyone. And not everything needs to be explicitly framed around a holiday.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p><strong>Ask yourself if you actually need a holiday angle.<\/strong>\u00a0If the answer is \u00ab\u00a0we always do Mother&rsquo;s Day,\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0that&rsquo;s\u00a0just a calendar reminder\u00a0you\u2019ve\u00a0been calling \u00ab\u00a0strategy\u00a0\u00bb.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p><strong>If you are going to do opt-outs, do them thoughtfully.<\/strong>\u00a0Broad, low-stakes preference options (\u00ab\u00a0opt out of holiday content\u00a0\u00bb) are better than prompting someone to reflect on whether their mom is still corporeal.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p><strong>Don&rsquo;t\u00a0perform empathy you\u00a0haven&rsquo;t\u00a0earned.<\/strong>\u00a0Customers can tell the difference between thoughtful and theatrical.\u00a0If you&rsquo;re not willing to actually know your audience, a well-copywritten opt-out email isn&rsquo;t going to fool anyone.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>The bottom line: giving people the\u00a0option\u00a0to opt out of sensitive campaigns\u00a0isn&rsquo;t\u00a0a bad idea. But\u00a0it&rsquo;s\u00a0not the same thing as empathy.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<p>Because empathy is more than giving people a way out of your message;\u00a0it&rsquo;s\u00a0knowing whether they should have received it in the first place.\u00a0<\/p>\n    <div data-content-type=\"longform\" class=\"longform-spacings\">\r\n        <div class=\"cta bg-primary rounded-lg px-5 py-6 p-md-7 px-md-6\">\r\n                    <div class=\"form-subscription\">\r\n                            <div class=\"h4 mb-3\">\r\n                    Keep me posted! 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I expressly agree to receive the newsletter and know that I can easily unsubscribe at any time.                        <\/div>\r\n                    \r\n                    <div class=\"col-2\">\r\n                        <button type=\"submit\" value=\"Submit\" aria-label=\"Submit\" class=\"btn btn-secondary btn-icon\">\r\n                            <svg aria-hidden=\"true\" data-url=\"https:\/\/www.mailgun.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/sinch-core\/assets\/icons\/layout\/chevron-right.svg\"><\/svg>\r\n                        <\/button>\r\n                    <\/div>\r\n                <\/div>\r\n\r\n                <input type=\"hidden\" name=\"formSubscriptionRecaptchaToken\" data-fs=\"recaptcha-token\">\r\n\r\n            <\/form>\r\n            <div data-fs=\"message-success\" style=\"display: none;\">\r\n                <p class=\"mb-0 mt-2 text-body-color\">\r\n                    Check your inbox monthly for your Mailgun Newsletter!                <\/p>\r\n            <\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Every May, a certain type of email shows up in inboxes alongside the gift guides and discount codes: the empathy email. The one that gently offers to let you opt out of Mother&rsquo;s Day content, just in case. It&rsquo;s well-intentioned. It&rsquo;s also kind of a mess, and it says more about how we think about [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":89,"featured_media":11820,"menu_order":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"blog_category":[20],"class_list":["post-13440","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","blog_category-email"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What holidays like Mother&#039;s Day teach us about intentional sending<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Mother&#039;s Day opt-out emails often create more discomfort than the campaigns they&#039;re meant to soften. Here&#039;s how to send intentionally.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mailgun.com\/fr\/blog\/email\/ce-que-les-mamans-peuvent-nous-apprendre-a-propos-de-l-email-marketing\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What holidays like Mother&#039;s Day teach us about intentional sending\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Mother&#039;s Day opt-out emails often create more discomfort than the campaigns they&#039;re meant to soften. 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